International Asexuality Day
04
Apr

International Asexuality Day

Interview: Caroline Elisabeth Cull

Caroline, 27, is a filmmaker, Asexual activist and has her own little online vintage shop to help fund her projects. She told us that she first found the term Asexual after a horrible date and drunkenly googling “why sex bad”.
Queer Perth spoke to Caroline for International Asexual Day on April 6, about what it means to be Asexual, the importance of community and being seen.

Asexual (Ace): Commonly describes someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction.

Find Caroline:

Picture of Caroline smiling shyly, wearing a purple dress, white shawl and standing against a gold shimmering background.

When you first heard the term ‘Asexual’ how did you feel it related to your own feelings and experience?

I first officially found the term Asexual after coming home from a horrible date. After a few too many drinks to drown my sorrows, I got drunk googled “why sex bad” and after a few weird articles and photos I stumbled upon Asexuality.

For the first 25 years of my life I literally thought my vagina was broken. Sex education growing up was basically “abstinence or nothing.” As I also grew up in the church from age 6, I pretty much thought that it was normal until I left and realised just how sheltered I was. Finally finding a label that explained how I was feeling and connected me to others was really amazing.

I do, however, believe that there’s an insane pressure for this generation to know and label everything, most of it rooted in young LGBTQIA+ people I’ve seen first hand – people struggling because as they grew, their gender identity or sexual orientation changed and they felt a sense of dysmorphia.

How open to others are you about being Asexual?

I find that so many people are different with their desire for being open. I find it personally important as a representational activist to declare my label. For me it sheds light on Asexuality and spreads awareness. Some others prefer their privacy though and that’s totally ok! You don’t owe anybody anything.

How do you connect with other Asexual people in the Queer community?

When I first joined the Ace Army™ I found so many resources and content creators. Instagram was super beneficial because all I had to do was search hashtags and there was multitudes of graphics and pictures that explained things like the attraction model, statistics, and a whole bunch of micro-labels. If not for that, I wouldn’t have realised I was Demisexual and also Aromantic!

Are there any regular meet-ups or events where people can catch up IRL with like-minded folks?

It depends where you are in the world. For WA, there’s a few Facebook groups for WA or Perth. You can not only organise meet ups but ask questions, share memes and make new friends! There’s a bunch of discord groups online that chat and game together too. I found this beneficial when I was stuck inside because of Covid.

You're also an Asexual activist - can you tell me about what that involves?

As an Asexual activist, it basically means I’m working my little butt off to make it easier for the community and those who may not know they’re ace just yet. Whether it’s talking to senators and education curriculum advisors about sexual health education in schools, or just making sure that pride organisations are making space and representing Asexuality when they’re holding panels or events.

We’re very excited to hear about the worlds first feature film with Asexual representation that you’re working on - can you please tell us more?

In June 2021, I found myself becoming the marketing producer of an amazing US feature film called Dear Luke, Love, Me. This film is directed by Guillermo Díaz, of Scandal, Weeds, CSI fame. It will be the world’s first feature film with canonical Asexual representation. I managed to help curate a Kickstarter campaign and we ended up raising about US$140,000 (which is just under AU$200,000) all from the ace community and film industry.

I was planning on being there on set but Covid got in the way. I’m hoping once the film is finished with post-production, I’ll be able to make it for the premiere and bring the film over to the Australian festival circuit.

Photo showing Caroline marching in the WA Pride Parade grinning, making the peace sign with her fingers and holding the aromantic flag.

Here are the standard questions we ask all of our guests:

What LGBTQIA+ Events in Perth should we look out for?

If you love nostalgia, and history, there’s a really cool exhibit on the 10th of April called Heritage Perth: Closeted Stories of Long Ago where you can hear stories of older gay men of their coming out in WA, and socialising in the 70s and 80s. It’s always lovely to pay homage to the people that paved the way to our freedom.

Are you involved in any other LGBTQIA+ organisations or events in Perth? 

I’m a member of Pride WA in which they hold regular meetings and discuss everything LGBTQIA+ related in the West Australian community. You can even volunteer and help out if you have the time, and I encourage it! Some of the best people in the world.

What do you think is great about the LGBTQIA+ Community in Perth?

I love how close knit we are. As Perth is very small, you get to know everyone really quickly and it feels like a second family. It’s kind of funny though. It’s the one thing a lot of the gay community complain about here because they already *know* 😉 everyone. I don’t have that problem, obviously.

And what improvements would you like to see for the community here?

I would love to see more inclusion of Asexuality in Pride events. There’s a lot of A-phobia that comes from the LGBTQIA+ community itself. So, if you have an event please consider how it might affect us. I once went to a Pride match-making event, and one of the pre-requisite questions was “Are you a top or a bottom” in which there absolutely no *none of the above* option.

What would you recommend for anyone new to Perth that they must see or do here?

Every time I have a friend visit, I take them to the following places:

  1. The Rainbow Shipping Containers in Freo. Great little picture for the gram!
  2. Connections Nightclub in Northbridge if you’re over 18. They have drag, disco, and theme nights. Just try to avoid A. Wednesday as it’s Lesbian mud wrestling night (unless you want to see boobs) and B. arriving late because it’s a $20 door charge.
  3. The Freedom Centre on Brisbane St. which is a great support centre for anyone under the age of 26. It’s a safe space to hang out, have fun and meet other LGBTQIA+ people.
Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week
20
Feb

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week

Interview: Chris

It's Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week and in case you weren't sure, “Aromanticism is a romantic orientation, which most commonly describes people who experience little to no romantic attraction to others.”*
Chris, 39, kindly answered some of our questions about being aromantic and how he connects with others.
Glossary:*
  • Aromantic (Aro): Commonly describes someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction.
  • Asexual (Ace): Commonly describes someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction.
  • Allosexual: Describes a person who experiences sexual attraction or is not on the asexual spectrum.
  • Aroace: An abbreviation of aromantic asexual, a term by which people who are aromantic and asexual describe themselves.
  • Aspec: An umbrella term for orientations based on conditional and no romantic and/or sexual attraction, that is aromantic and asexual spectra, abbreviated to a-spec.

* Source: aromanticism.org

Can you please tell us when you first heard the term ‘Aromantic’ and how you felt it related to your own feelings and experience?

I first heard the term 14 years ago when I found my way into an online ace community and it was definitely a concept that made sense to me at the time. I didn't initially think I was aro. That was something I had to think about and how my interactions with people played out.

I eventually came to understand what aromanticism was and how I felt I fit under that label.

How does being aromantic relate to your gender identify, sexuality and sex?

I haven't really found being aro relate to much to my gender identity. I identify as asexual and there is a bit of a cross over there with regards to my sexuality. One thing I want to note is not all aromantic people are ace. There are plenty of allosexual people that are aromantic and they get underrepresented even within the aro community so it's always important to remind people that they exist and are just as valid as aroaces.

You also told us that you were the first to publicly use the micro label ‘Demiromantic’ – can you please clarify what this is and how it relates to you?

A demiromantic is someone that experiences romantic attraction to a degree only once they've gotten to know someone well enough to form an emotional bond. For a while I felt this related to me but later on after more exploring and thinking and considering it didn't quite fit so I preferred to use the broader term of Aro spec. These days I just use Aspec as it covers both my Aro and ace spectrums.

Do you think labels (and micro-labels) are helpful and important?

There's definitely a lot of micro labels kicking around and I feel that they are important to everyone that chooses to use them. It gives people a sense of belonging to something that for the most part is unknown to most people. I don't personally feel the need to infinitely micro label my identity but I will never hold anything against people that choose to do so.

How open to others are you about being Aromantic?

It's pretty much a need to know basis. I'm sure I give off enough "aro vibes" where if people were half educated they'd figure it out or assume.

It's obviously something I disclose to others within the community as it's always awesome to see other Aros kicking around. It's something I have, in the past, disclosed to friends especially of the opposite sex to reassure them that I'm being friendly but not necessarily after anything in return.

Friendships can be awesome and much more rewarding than romantic or otherwise relationships, I hate the idea of someone "catching feelings" and ruining what was there.

How do you connect with other Aromantic people in the Queer community?

There are plenty of aromantic related chat groups etc on facebook which are great. There's plenty of overlap within the ace community too. Most ace groups are, by default, going to be pretty inclusive to aro people.

I do enjoy sharing my shared experiences with other aro people, sometimes it's the discussion associated with a story and others it's over a good meme.

Here are the standard questions we ask all of our guests:

What other LGBTQI+ Events in Perth that we should look out for?

  • International Asexual Day (April 6, 2022) is coming up and we're hoping to do something this year again for Aussie Ace Week (October 24-30, 2022)

Are you involved in any other LGBTQI+ organisations or events in Perth? Tell us about them…

What do you think is great about the LGBTQ+ Community in Perth?

  • People are pretty accepting. It's always great when they include the A in the acronym (LGBTQIA+) it might only be a couple of letters extra but it gives us that feeling of being visible and accepted in the LGBTQ+ community as we're not accepted outside of the community as it is.

And what improvements would you like to see for the community here?

  • I'd love to see better education for people about Aromanticism as it's pretty low on the radar here.

What would you recommend for anyone new to Perth that they must see or do here?

  • I'm a mad fan of Asian Vegan food being part Asian and Vegan myself. My go to is Little Beans Gourmet (Canning Vale), Healthy Thai Vegan and Vegetarian (Vic Park) and Formosa Vegetarian Eating House (Kardinya). I've been meaning to try Nuthin Fyshy Fish and Chips but not had a chance to yet.